You know what I’ve realized, I talk to myself a lot.
When I was really young, like in elementary school, I never talked to myself. Or at least if I did, it was always passively as if my thoughts were talking, but it was never aimed towards me.
As I grew older though, say middle school, I had the shocking revelation that I was having conversations with myself.
For example during class:
Me (in my head): Wow, I’m hungry.
Me (also in my head): Don’t worry, school is almost over.
Me: Yay! I think I’ll eat something sweet!
Me: No that’s bad, lunch is supposed to be healthy and full of nutrients.
Me: Aw, but I want something sweeeet!.
Me: No. Not healthy for you. (with a stern voice)
Just for the record, this is how I talk to myself in my head on a regular basis.
After I had this conversation, I felt a bit awkward. I thought wait, am i talking to myself? Wow, I’m so silly, I’m actually talking to myself.
If you have had a back and forth conversation like this before, you would know how weird it feels the first time.
To understand how I feel, try this:
Stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom or just your room. There must be no one near that can hear you. Absolutely nobody can know you are doing this, this is very important. It is much easier to talk out loud when there’s people you know around you, but that’s called cheating. So isolate yourself. Now that you’re alone, start having a conversation with yourself out loud.
Loudly. I know this is redundant, but I’m just making a point. Not screaming loud, just like you’re talking to someone else in the room (which you are…? maybe…)
Okay, make it a back and forth conversation, not a one way street kind of thing. Maybe ask yourself about how your day was, or talk about really cute person you saw on the street today.
Now, do you feel a bit foolish? Awkward? Weird? You should. If you don’t…then…I really don’t know what to say about you.
No plausible explanation or respectful comment available.
But as time passed for me, I got used to talking to myself, only in my head though. It’s too weird to talk out loud…
When I am talking to myself in my head though, sometimes I let a few words slip. For example, when I’m sitting on a bus, just sitting there, talking to my inner thoughts, I might suddenly say out loud, “No way, that’s impossible!”
At that point when everyone looks up to see what’s happening, I quickly take out my phone, put it up to my ear and pretend I’m on the phone.
That only happens when I’m having a heated discussion. I like talking to myself though. I have many contradictions in my head…
Now think about your daily life and about whether you talk to yourself or not. You might not realize it, but you could be talking to yourself everyday.
Or maybe after reading this you’ll think that you do, even if you don’t, or maybe you do…