How To Smile.

Me: I’ve been trying something new recently. Have you noticed?

Someone: Huh? What?

Me: I’ve been trying to smile. Wherever I go, even if I’m alone, I’ve made a goal for myself to smile. I’m hoping if I do it all the time, it’ll come naturally. And soon I’ll be able have that kind of smile where, if I smile at a stranger walking down the street, it’ll make them honestly smile back at me.

Someone: Oh, I thought you’ve just been constipated this last week.

So I’ve been trying something new recently: smiling. I read somewhere that just by the action of pulling the corners of your mouth upward and forming a smile, you’ll actually feel happier. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it kind of works. Probably just because you feel so silly smiling to yourself for no reason.

Everywhere I go now, I’ll try to smile. That’s actually pretty difficult for me because I’m a very awkward smiler. (Is that a word? Probably not, but what else am I supposed to call it?) I can’t smile properly at people, even when it’s meeting new people for work. I can smile for a second and greet them, but after that second, my mouth will go back to its normal upset looking frown. I mean, it’s not like I’m always angry or something, that’s just how my mouth likes to be when it’s resting.

Sorry, I had to pause there for a second because that sentence was weird.

Anyways, I’m not the kind of person that will smile for no reason during an awkward silence or when I’m listening to someone telling me about something that wasn’t a joke. I’m sorry okay, I don’t have a customer service smile. I can’t smile for no reason, it’s just too awkward to stand there and smile. That’s why I would be such a horrible customer service person, or a waitress.

People also often think that I’m glaring at them, but I’m not! I’m just listening intently to what they have to say. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? And I thought people liked good listeners. I mean, am I just supposed to stand there looking at you, smiling like a weirdo?

Enough with my complaining, I’ve realized that I need to fix my problem with smiling because it is troublesome when I have to meet new people. My solution is to build up my confidence with smiling by forcing it. Until I can smile naturally of course.

Right now, I’m sure I just look constipated all the time…but soon, it’ll look like a normal smile! That’s my life goal! To able to smile at a stranger walking down the street and have them smile back at me!

But I have to admit, even as I’m typing this right now, I am not smiling.

I’m tired okay? I’ve been smiling all day. It takes a lot of out you, you know. My mouth just likes to rest in this position.

Hmm, I wonder if there are people whose resting position for their mouth is a smile.

I’m jealous of them.


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